Men and counselling
Why do men find it difficult to use counselling?
Statistics from the counselling and psychotherapy profession report that men make up only about one-third of those seeking help through therapy, and yet it appears that men suffer distress as often and in similar ways to women. In fact, where suicide is concerned, there is a worldwide phenomenon of higher suicide rates among men of all age groups. Thankfully, in the UK male suicide rates have been falling since 1998. However, they are still significantly above the rates for females (National statistics). Young men also appear to be rapidly catching up with young women where other self-harming actions are concerned (Samaritans 2005).
'Big boys don't cry'
My work with males in the worlds of both education and counselling would suggest that boys grow up to be men who believe certain things about what being a man is. Put simply, we get the message from childhood that ‘big boys don’t cry’. As life moves on, we internalise the idea that being a ‘man’ means you sort out problems without talking about them or involving outsiders.
Too often, boys and men would prefer not to admit they have a problem that might benefit from talking through with someone else. In an attempt to mask feelings of inadequacy, boys and men often turn to denial, anger or even substance misuse. An alternative to this might be to find a space in which you can talk, listen and express yourself, without being judged.For more information read Depression and suicide in men?.
As a man, should I be anxious about asking for counselling sessions?
The idea of counselling might raise anxiety if you are not certain what it is about. Here are some key points.
During counselling, no one will tell you what you should do.
During counselling, no one will tell you how you should be feeling.
Counselling is a non-judgemental process.
Counselling allows you to focus on troubling issues.
Counselling is usually a listening-and-talking method of working.
Counselling often deals with working with life changes.
Counselling can be about mental health and well-being.
Counselling can deal with spiritual and philosophical issues.
Statistics from the counselling and psychotherapy profession report that men make up only about one-third of those seeking help through therapy, and yet it appears that men suffer distress as often and in similar ways to women. In fact, where suicide is concerned, there is a worldwide phenomenon of higher suicide rates among men of all age groups. Thankfully, in the UK male suicide rates have been falling since 1998. However, they are still significantly above the rates for females (National statistics). Young men also appear to be rapidly catching up with young women where other self-harming actions are concerned (Samaritans 2005).
'Big boys don't cry'
My work with males in the worlds of both education and counselling would suggest that boys grow up to be men who believe certain things about what being a man is. Put simply, we get the message from childhood that ‘big boys don’t cry’. As life moves on, we internalise the idea that being a ‘man’ means you sort out problems without talking about them or involving outsiders.
Too often, boys and men would prefer not to admit they have a problem that might benefit from talking through with someone else. In an attempt to mask feelings of inadequacy, boys and men often turn to denial, anger or even substance misuse. An alternative to this might be to find a space in which you can talk, listen and express yourself, without being judged.For more information read Depression and suicide in men?.
As a man, should I be anxious about asking for counselling sessions?
The idea of counselling might raise anxiety if you are not certain what it is about. Here are some key points.
